Black Book Part III

Dearest Buddies,

Technically, I did say I'll update this on Tuesday but for various reasons, I have only gotten around to it today. I am absolutely filled with news but I think I might leave that for an email though there are a few things I would like to share here.

A while ago, a very kind person bought me a copy of Oscar Wilde's Collected Works and it is such a fabulous book. I love Mr. Wilde and I love the way he writes. For some reason, he reminds me of Plato writing about the last days of Socrates. So if anyone is looking for some good reading, give Mr Wilde a go.

I have been writing a lot of poetry lately and I am quite pleased that I'm steadily accumulating a good number of Queen of Me poems but I'll wait before posting. I'm anxious to post another part of the Black Book and so here I am...

Black Book Part III

...Does that frighten you?'

Philosophy? Frightening? A pain in the neck would be more like it. Philosophy made me shudder. It reminded me of a dog chasing its tail; lots of hard effort and no conclusion, and who wanted to be known for wasting their life like that? 'It doesn't frighten me. I just don't think it's as important as some might think.'

'Aha! But how do we understand the world if we don't first understand ourselves, if we don't understand our own views, our own philosophies when it comes to life?'

'I thought you wanted to teach me something. This sounds like a debate though.'

'I can't teach you anything you don't know. At best I can only confirm your own suspicions. That is all and nothing more but unity and separateness are important concepts. Tell me, do you feel a part of the world you live in?'

To say that the question struck a nerce would be a gross understatement. I wasn't alienated, I have never been a loner, but I was surprised by her questions and drawn by them because it's like yes, she had decided I'd be her disciple for some reason beyond me and she'd wasted no time in getting right down to business and I understand the seriousness, I understood what she was asking about, but it was like talking about death comically- lightness to ease the seriousess of the topic, and I appreciated that. 'I feel a part of my world sometimes but that doesn't mean I feel that I completely fit in. I don't really understand the world around me. It's complex, it's strange, and it's difficult to think of it as my own.'

'But is that a matter of loneliness?'

'No, I don't think so. I know that I don't feel lonely. I just don't always feel I belong.'

'Do you care to explain?'

I smiled and picked up my cup in a mock toast. 'I don't mind but I'd like to get something in return.'

Sidhi laughed and lowered my cup. 'No acting. Only the truth. As long as you're acting, you're lying, and as long as you're lying, you can only refer to yourself as a liar and living in the skin of a liar is a most unpleasant experience my dear Kep, and never expect anything in return for the truth. The truth is worth the world on its own.'

I sure hoped so. Confessing to a new acquaintance wasn't something anyone does very often. 'I like other people, I love their company to be honest but I also find I have very little in common with most people and when I find that someone is annoying,' I put aside my tea and studied a biscuit absently, 'I find it difficult to be nice to them which isn't that hard to understand because there is no common ground. Does that make sense?'

....

Well folks, I'll have to leave it there. I'm still writing well into the afternoons. Actually that's a lie. I write only a little each day but it's going well. I hope you all enjoy this third update of the Sidhi story. Good day!

Yoomi